My Blog

mom, dad, sis and her bf visited me last week for my commencement. This is a very tough trips for me, i’ve been arranging for all the flights, hotels, attractions, foods and transportation to each places. If i would have a American Express, things will go much easier. But but but…. with my limited savings and dad’s very very standard credit cards, I can only go for cheapest possible price for everything. And this made even tougher.

During my final weeks at school, until their arrivals on May 6th. Ok, here’s the schedules since first day.

1st day: Cleaning my apartment since afternoon, grocery shopping for their welcome dinner at night, then, tour to organic food store and the highest building of Boston.(Prudential)

2nd day: Dunkin Donuts breakfast, fixing my stuff at school, then visiting Museum of Natural HIstory of Harvard University, Vietnamese lunch. Haymarket right after,  Italian town, Garden. American steak dinner. And…i have to do a recording right after dinner 9.30pm at 10pm..such an exhausting day.

3rd day: Morning train to NYC, arrives 3pm, check in to Pennsylvania Hotel next to Madison Square. China town lunch->break->Korean town dinner.

4th day: NYC still, Mc Donalds breakfast, Statue of Liberty ferry trip until noon, china town lunch. (they don’t want american food anymore!) break, then Shopping at Macy’s (the world’s biggest store). Dinner with Chee how’s family in Queens 7.15pm. Time Square on the way back home 10.30pm, and Rockerfeller call for the night, 12am.

5th day: Subway to La Guardia Airport 9.30am, flight to Buffalo, Niagara fall. arrives Quality Hotel and Suites at 2pm, buffalo wings lunch until 3pm. Niagara Fall->Niagara Fall->Niagara Fall->and gardens…. Indian Buffet Dinner..ZZzzz

6th day: 1pm flight to Boston, Super 88 Cantonese Lunch at 4pm. Bought lobster, and house dinner today. Taxi to mom and dad’s hotel right after, cleaning room for my sublet who will come in the 17th. I’ll be away until 18th, so i must clean up….poor me….(just realized i couldn’t sleep in my own room again….sad…T_T)

7th day: Thai Lunch, stupid convocation until 6pm, reception in Museum of Fine Arts. Then, rush to Charles River, Newbury St., and China town taiwanese dinner for the day. and until now…2.23am, i’m still cleaning up my room..!!!!!!!!!!!!

8th day: going to LA, morning call 5am, flight 8.30am. will update later~~

Finally, everything came to an end. This is my second last day working in library. It’s May, Spring(finally, for boston), this is when everything blossoms. perhaps this is the longest stay I ever had in USA. Every May 10th of the past 3 years, I flew back to KL. I’m quite regret for many decisions i’ve made. I put too much hope on everything, and everyone.

After July 4th, i’m an illegal resident of USA, if i don’t enrol a new program. Actually I did, and again, i’m stuck in all these money matters. Tomorrow all the decisions will be made, if i’m lucky enough, i’ll get another full-scholarship school, if not, then i have to plan on a job in Asia. My life don’t belongs to asia anymore.

Last night Chern Hwei told me a very shocking story. There’s one really talented cellist, she graduated from Indiana University and Julliard School, and she auditioned for Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra few weeks ago. Her audition was a tremendously success, the panels was impressed by her skillful playing. (she auditioned for assistant principal cellist post btw.) I haven’t heard her playing before, but by the reputation of the schools she attended and those famous teachers she studied with, i can say, she’s much higher level than I am, I’m pretty sure. Eventually, she failed to get the post by the reason "you’re too young!" I think she’s around 23 now, it’s not so ‘young’ to get a professional job. And obviously there are many politics going on in there. I don’t know, I try not to care, but it concerns me a lot.

I don’t know my future, what I can think of is ..maybe try to get a job in USA, then will plan on MPO after that. Why MPO? because i’m malaysian, and I wish to work in my own territory (I thought their  target is getting more malaysians to play in the orchestra?). I wish to educate and bring hopes to the musical world in Malaysia. But … but but but…and more buts.

Who can do something to MPO? Petronas, please stand up and protest…can you please?

Now it made me more miserable. If i failed to stay in USA for another 2 years, that means I have to go back. For…? the impossible and over-political MPO? or…. hmm… this is really really sad. Pathetic malaysian. God, please give me power…I really need it, to fix something.